A step in the right direction

So its been a few months since my last rant so I figure I should come talk at the world again. So i've got boys on my mind. I might have mentioned in one of my last blogs I am one of those super rare hottie 20 year olds that have never had any romantic anything worth mentioning ever, and if you were to ask me why about a month ago I would say its because it just never happens, or that 'guys have an inexplicable silent understanding to stay away from me' But I had a bit of an epiphany and realized that I've kind of been dodging any type of romantic liaison like I owed them child support! lol. I've liked a number of great guys and NEVER showed any proof of interest and swore to shoot any friend of mine who thought they would go play match maker for me...and this past year i've done a remarkable job finding something anything wrong with a guy who would show interest, and thus far I have been amazingly successful at it. And I know I can't blame my lack of romantic invovlement all on my dodging habit but at least 50% of it.
Recently some boy I went to highschool with has been trying to get me to go on a date with him and I have all types of reasons why I won't say yes but in thinking about it I realized that my main reason why I wouldn't date this cat is that the thought of going out with him and than actually liking him out loud kinda freaks me out. Especially since I'm pretty sure this kid talks to about 14 girls a week which would only make me one of many. But is there really anything wrong with going on a date with a nice boy that doesn't want to make you his wife? Probably not, especially since I definitely don't want to marry anyone in the near future.
My sister always asks me where they went wrong with me cuz I always over think EVERYTHING that has to do with boys...but I mean can you blame? I've had crushes that have litterally crushed my feelings and they didn't even know they were doing it I can only imagine its about 48million times worst when it gets real. And I know that it getting real does not mean feelings won't get hurt it just means they'll hurt more. somewhere i'm convinced that every guy that tells me I'm cute before they get to know me has the end goal of screwing me over.....wow blogging u learn things about yourself. Apparently dryeyes is a skeptic...big time!
So in an effort to change this little dodger routine thats landed me nowhere (not even heartbreak free) I decided to give this kid my phone number. Its most likely not going to end in a beautiful love story or even a date; but if I can convince myself that all boys that approach me don't plan to ninja chop my heart and serve it as a salsa dip at their next dinner party then I'll consider that a step in the right direction.